Hmmm.... the past couple of weeks have been interesting. Ever since Blake was born, I have been a Work-Out-Of-The-Home-Mom (WOOTHM). For the first few months of his life, I was home with him on maternity leave and spring break. I went back to work for about 2 months before the end of the school year, and we had him in daycare for TWO DAYS. We had an issue with that daycare... suspicion of abuse... and pulled him out and Mike stayed home with him.
I have always been off in the summer so this summer was really no big change.
But now Blake is back to school and I am finding myself a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM). I always thought I would get SO MUCH DONE if I could stay home all day. Not. Actually, I can't say that I *haven't* gotten stuff done... I really have... yesterday I spent the entire day making phone calls.... I wouldn't have been able to do that if I was working. Problem is... the pay for being a SAHM SUCKS! Big time.
I am torn. I enjoyed working. Being with the kids. Talking to the parents and other staff members. Getting a paycheck that was actually worth more than the paper it was written on. And, although we still had a hard time making ends meet, we still had extra money for things like... gas to go visit my mom, going out to eat a couple of times a month (honestly we went out to eat way more than we needed to), ordering pizza on pay-day Friday, signing Blake up for soccer or swimming or whatever he wanted to do, buying that cute top that's on the clearance rack, etc.
But I am enjoying being home. I get up and fix B breakfast (something I always longed to do but never had the time to get myself ready for work AND fix him something to eat). I drive him to school (we do schools of choice and the district will not bus school of choice kids). I get things done around the house (like spending all day making phone calls to find out how ungodly expensive my prescriptions will be since we no longer have insurance). I am using my crock pot a LOT more... yesterday was goulash, today is steak tips. My house is staying clean and orderly (for the most part). I am caught up on bills and laundry. Then I go and pick B up from school. I get there early and park so that I can see the kids on the playground (not his class unfortunately) and I watch them run and climb and jump and laugh, and I smile. I suppose anyone watching would think I'm some sort of a freak... sitting there in my van, all alone, looking at kids on the playground and smiling. But I thouroughly enjoy watching them have fun and just BE KIDS!
When the bell rings, I watch for Blake. He thinks he is hot stuff because this year we are allowing him to walk to the car (vs us going inside to pick him up) and I park so that he has to cross the street with the crossing guard. I love watching him burst out of the building with a friend or two.. he is always smiling and they are always joking around somehow. One day he walked with a friend and her dad, and he was quite the gentleman walking and talking so politely. I could tell by the look on the dad's face that he was enthralled by Blake, so lord only knows what the kid was talking about! LOL :) He yells goodbye to his friends as he is jumping in the van and says, "Hi mom! I had a great day!"
Look what I have missed for the past 5 years of him going to school!
And since Mike has gone back to school, it's usually just Blake and I at the house. We talk, watch TV, play games. I want to start having him help me make dinner. On Mondays he does his homework (although this week he spread his homework out and just finished it up yesterday).
So I am torn. Being a WOOTHM makes paying the bills a helluva lot easier. Being a SAHM gives me so much more time with my kid.
Unemployment is only going to last so long... so I HAVE to find a job anyway. But the problem is, the jobs that I am qualified for don't pay as much as unemployment! And the jobs that DO pay more than unemployment, I don't seem to get called for :(
But I am praying and having faith that God is going to provide for us. He will not let us down.
And while I'm waiting, I am going to enjoy my time as a SAHM. I'm even going to volunteer in B's classroom once a week :) I LOVE having the freedom to do that!