Sunday, June 8, 2008

Life Changes part 2

I recently (as in less than an hour ago) found out that my niece is pregnant. Normally I would be overjoyed that someone in my family is going to have a baby. That I am going to be a great-aunt again.

But I am so disappointed in her. She used to tell me her plans for life... which included graduating high school, going to college, getting married. She would babysit Blake and then tell me how much work it was to take care of a baby, and how she was never going to have kids (lol.. a comment that I always shrugged off).

And now, here she is. A high school drop-out (she did go back and get her GED so that's a good thing). Unmarried. Dating her current boyfriend for just a few months. Living with him for not very long (a month I'd say?). She hasn't gone to college. She doesn't have a job. They don't even have a decent car.

I really expected more from her.

There may come a time when I get excited about this news. I can't say for sure. It's difficult when I have just recently decided to give up on trying to have another baby because we just aren't being blessed with one, and then she decides she wants to have a baby and *poof* she's pregnant. I am not jealous. It is just difficult to see ANYONE who is pregnant some days.

I just don't understand. I had heard that she wanted to get pregnant, but I honestly thought she would be smarter than that. That she would look at her life and realize that now is not a good time to bring a baby into the mix. *sigh*

I do hope all goes well. I don't know how far along she is.. but it must not be very far. I pray that she never has to experience the pain of losing a baby. Ever.

I will keep updated on my feelings here.

1 comment:

Ter said...

Sorry you're having a rough time. :(