I have given in several times over the past few years and gotten my hair colored. Every time I do it, I look in the mirror and wonder who that person is looking back at me. Then I get used to the new color, the hidden grey, and I forget about it.
Until the grey starts peeking through again. I don't normally get a color that is very far off from my natural color, so the roots aren't an issue here.
The last time I got my hair colored, the guy who has been doing my hair for about 3 years now had been bugging me every time I got my hair cut. He'd pick up the swoosh of grey that is right by my temple and say, "You need to get this grey covered, Sister."
I have been watching that swoosh of grey as it comes back. The color is fading. The grey is there. It will always be there. I can cover it... but it will still be there. Kind of like God... no matter what you do to deny Him... He is always there.
So I have decided that the grey hair is not a bad thing. The grey hair is a sign that I have lived. Praise God I have lived! I have had many trials and tribulations in my life.I have lost grandparents. I have lost a parent. I have lost a child. I have lost friends. I have sat and held a friend's hand as she battled breast cancer. I have hugged a neighbor who's son just committed suicide. I have been in love. And been dumped. I have sat up all night with a friend scared that he may have AIDS. I have sat up all night with a friend struggling with her marriage. I have gotten up out of bed at 3:00 in the morning after getting a teary phone call from a friend on her way to my house. I have given birth. I have had car accidents. I have traveled the United States. I have traveled to another country. I have slept in a chair in my father's hospital room when he was suffering from dimentia. I have talked to him about non-existent weddings. And eaten non-existent wedding cake with him. I have sat with my dying father. And whispered in his ear that it's OK to go. I have sent cyber hugs to a friend who lost her child. And then 3 years later, lost her husband.
There is so much more.
But through it all... I am thankful. Thankful that I am alive. That I have a family. And good friends. That I have my son. That my daughter was chosen to be an angel. I have a home. I have food on the table. I have gas in my car.
So when you see me.... grey hair and all.... know that the grey is a sign of life. A life well lived. A sign of age. Yup, I'm getting older. And with age, I hope, comes respect.
So here I am world. Grey hair and all. Love me. Or leave me.