**WARNING!** **WARNING!** **WARNING!** This is a long and rambling bitchfest of a post.
As I write this, I am taking a break. So far this morning (it is now lunchtime) I have done 4 loads of laundry, taken the recycling OUT of the returnables box (we can return our soda cans here for 10c each), picked up garbage in the den, picked up MORE garbage in the den that the dogs have hauled behind the chair and added to their stash (that I had just picked up YESTERDAY), straightened the den, folded blankets (we keep them there to snuggle with in the evenings) in the den, vacuumed in the den, vacummed the hallway, vacummed the office, vacummed the dining room, took down the Halloween decorations, got the table set up for Christmas decs (put the Christmas table cloth over it), put away a bunch of stuff that was piled on the dining room table (I do that as I'm cleaning so the last thing I can do is put the pile of junk away), fed the dogs, fed the cats, fed the guinea pig, ate breakfast, cleaned out a bag of snacks that I had taken to Mike when he was at the hospital with his dad (it's been sitting on the floor in the office since Saturday when Mike came back home), cleaned out Blake's swim bag, let the dogs out several times, caught up on some emails, and fixed the toy box that the caster fell off about 2 weeks ago.
What has Michael done? Hmm... let's see.... took Blake to school, played games on his computer, let the dogs out (once or twice not sure), talked to his sister on the phone, went to check his po box and he is currently laying on the sofa, wrapped up in a blanket watching tv.
Look at that. Those 2 lists are SO close in the number of items on them that you can barely even tell them apart. Do you sense sarcasm? Damn right you do!
And the shitty thing is... if someone were to come to my house and see the mess, the floors needing vacuumed, the cans all over the counter because the box is full of shit that doesn't belong in it, the crap laying all over, who would be the one to be looked down upon for not keeping a neat and tidy house? Certainly not The Man.
I could be working 4 jobs and selling my blood and he could be home all day and it would STILL fall on MY shoulders to keep the house clean and tidy.
Yeah... I've heard that whole "if you wait long enough he'll eventually do it" shpeal. Well, guess what? I'd like my house to be neat and tidy in MY lifetime. I did student teaching in Australia. I was gone for 2 months. When I got home, he surprised me by having my BFF, Shelley, at the house when we got home from the airport. I was mortified.... MOR. TI. FIED! at how my house looked when I walked in. I could NOT believe he would actually INVITE someone into that pig sty. So my first day back... after a 17 hour plane ride and suffering from MAJOR jet lag..... I cleaned my house. Now, it was not a matter of a few dishes laying around, dirty clothes in a pile on the floor and newspapers strewn about. No folks. Let me tell you (and Shelley will back me up 110% on this) the place was a STY. It was FILTHY. It was DISGUSTING! The carpet, which was normally an ugly 70s gold color, was BLACK..... seriously... BLACK. There were dirty dishes piled everywhere... there was CRAP everywhere.... it looked like someone unlocked the door and announced to the county that anything you don't want feel free to bring it and just throw it in. Don't bother walking in and putting it neatly someplace.... just stand at the door and pitch it.
I. Am. Serious. Sadly, it is true. So if I were to wait... this place would be a sty too. Oh, wait, when I went to school to get my Master's Degree.... I was working full time, going to school full time and taking care of the kid and the house. I had to let something go. I decided it would be the house. For 3 years. He did nothing. He was working. That was it. Had a job. Wasn't going to school. Wasn't doing anything else. And yet... my mother came to my house and berated me about what a mess my house was! WHAT?!
So my question is (look Virginia, there IS a point!) why is it the WOMAN'S repsonsibility to keep the house clean? Don't give me shit about how men are wired differently blah blah blah. I am sorry. If a man can learn to walk and talk, he can learn to keep the house clean. I have even posted a list... on Monday vacuum, on Tuesday do laundry, on Wednesday clean teh bathrooms, on Thursday change the litter box, on Friday mop the floors. Daily scoop the litter box, wash the dishes, tidy up after yourself. And yet.... nothing gets done unless *I* (oh how I wish I could make that I HUGE) do it. OR... unless I BITCH and YELL for someone else to do it. If I ask, "Would you please vacuum the den?" one of 2 things will happen: A) he'll say "sure" and then forget to do it or B) he'll vacuum but won't do anything else in there (straighten, put away blankets, pick up trash, haul out stuff that doesn't belong in there, etc).
And yet... it is ME that is held accountable.
Next time you go to someone's house for dinner... ask who did the cleaning. I'll bet you that 9 times out of 10 it will be the woman... who cleaned the house, shopped for the meal, COOKED the meal, set the table, will clean up after the meal and will do the dishes after all the guests have left.
I. Am. Sick. Of. It.
Thanks for sticking with it this far... leave a comment and email me your addy and I'll send you chocolate :)