Today is my inlaw's anniversary. 46 years I think (??). At least 46. Anyway, it's a bittersweet day because Pop died in May. He isn't here, physically, to celebrate with. Mike wants to call his mom to wish her a Happy Anniversary.... I told him "Happy" probably isn't the word to use. I told him to just call her and tell her he is thinking about her today.
I struggled with what to DO for her. Why do we think that DOING something will help? GIVING something will take away the pain? I know better. Although many people did great things for me and gave me nice gifts, nothing eased the pain of my loss when we lost Lilly. I know NOTHING will ease her pain today... and today, of all days, her pain will be magnified.
I asked folks for ideas. Nobody really knew... maybe a video or a poem... it's difficult to decide what to do that won't cause too much pain, but will offer comfort and support.
My friend and I went shopping and happened upon a Christian store. We went in and I asked the woman working there for ideas. She gave me her thoughts, showed me a few things that just didn't "feel" right. I thanked her and continued to browse the store. My friend found a section of books on grief. I looked at several books and then, tucked behind another book, I found it. "Grace for the Widow. A Journey Through the Fog of Loss" by Joyce Rogers. I read the first page. It was the right thing.
I found a bookmark with part of the poem "Safely Home" on it. And a very nice card that talks about how we are remembering with her. Right.
I hope and pray that this gift brings her comfort. Not that it will take away any of her pain... but that she will feel less alone... knowing that someone else has been there too. I know she knows this already.... but to read about someone else's journey....
I also pray that memories of Pop make her smile at least once today.
We love you.